lisa-s.ca

These questions were asked on a thread on The Rebelution Forums regarding being a stay-at-home daughter. While I don’t quite fit the typical mold for this, I would consider myself to be one, simply because I am a daughter and I happen to be living at home after high school. Plus, they were good questions that really made me think about why I’m doing what I’m doing and allow me to explain more fully my position than I may have otherwise.

1. Why are you staying at home?

I’m staying at home because I’ve felt called to stay at home and the opportunity is available to me. I should note that I am also attending university at the same time. I’ve been blessed with having two universities (and a college) in the city I live relatively close to, one of which is very close to my dad’s work. I had been attending one of these universities and am now pursuing an online degree, which is also something I have felt lead to do.

2. Do you think staying at home instead of pursuing college applies to every young lady?

The problem with questions such as this is that they assume the two must be mutually exclusive which, in this situation, they are not. As I’ve mentioned above, I am currently staying at home and attending university. In this day, one can even get a degree (or other form of education) over the internet, which means that, as long as you have an internet connection, you can pursue an education from your home. (Where I’m “attending” you can even do it dial-up.)

But, to answer your question, I do not think that every young lady should stay at home instead of pursuing a college education. There is no commandment in the Bible which says this is necessary. There are some occupations (particularly those in the medical field such as nurses, midwives and doctors) in which women are necessary but which require a university education.

Also, I know of people who have been blessed by leaving home to go to college and have learned more about homemaking by doing so than they would have done had they stayed at home. Some of these were things they had never done at home because somebody else always did them. I’ve had a similar situation, learning to cook things I never would have before, because my mom is working and I’m at home.

3. In your opinion, what does it mean to be a homemaker?

A homemaker is (literally, based on the word) someone who makes a home. That would mean mean that she makes her house a home and takes care of it. It is her primary concern (after God and her family of course).

4. Does this mean you won’t ever work outside the home?

No, while work should never take away from the concerns of family and home, being a homemaker does not mean that you should never work outside the home. The bible never specifically says that this is wrong. The important thing is not to not work outside the home, but rather to set your home and family as your main priorities. If your job is getting in the way of these things, then you may need to find a solution (working less hours or something else). Also, having a job does not mean you have a career. Do high school students working at fast food restaurants have careers simply because they are working?

While it may be best avoided, such a statement raises too many questions to really make it a valid point. What’s the problem with working outside the home? If it’s that you get paid, then you can’t have a home business either because you’ll get paid for that too. If it’s that you’re doing something outside the home, does that mean you also can’t volunteer because that’s outside the home? And what about if you’re working for your husband or father (at his work, outside the home), is that also wrong?

5. Do you have Bible verses to support your view?

Yes and no. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that a girl must stay at home. Also, I think that those verses which people use to support being a stay-at-home daughter out of context. While they may indicate that being a stay-at home daughter could be a good idea, they don’t come out and say it. 1 Timothy 5:14 (or whichever verse that is) is talking about young widows, not young women. Titus 2:4-5 is a commandment for older women to teach younger women, not for young women to do exactly what it says. This doesn’t mean that young women shouldn’t do these things. Also, to me, it seems to be talking more about young married and/or engaged women rather than single women.

6. What are practical ways you can bless your family, father in particular?

Well, to begin with, part of the reason I’m getting a degree is because my parents want me to, which, to me is more honouring to my father than not getting a degree because I want to be a “stay-at-home daughter”. Also, I can bless then my cleaning the house, doing laundry, doing dishes and cooking/baking.

7. What if your husband dies?

I actually plan on having a home business in web design, so, assuming I get married and such a situation occurs, I will hopefully be able to support myself and my family. Also, I believe that, if the situation were to arise, God would provide (in some way, shape or form).

8. What are the biggest challenges and/or drawbacks to being a stay-at-home daughter ?

The biggest challenge for me is probably that I don’t personally know anyone else who is doing what I am doing, which can be discouraging because other people have different views. The other challenge for me is worrying what other people will think about it (which kind of ties in with the fact that I don’t know anyone else doing what I’m doing), although so far I haven’t really received any negative reactions about it. At least not any that people have shown.

What things are you going to do to prepare for being a wife and mother? (ie – books you are going to read, questions you want to ask mothers you know, things you are planning to do…)

Well, does coming up with stuff for this count? Actually, aside from learning stuff about cooking, cleaning, baking and other such stuff, I’d like to read books on a wide variety of things, and not exclusively those related directly to being a wife and a mother. I’m not really sure exactly what that will be. My current focus is on my school as well as a few other activities.